Scotland names its snowplows and they are delightful

Up in the Scottish Highlands at this very moment, just outside Inverness, Gangsta Granny Gritter is keeping the road clear and ice-free. Out east near Keith, Sir Grits-A-Lot loves to plow and it cannot lie. And down south in the lowlands, Spready Mercury

is taking care of this thing called ice. 

You see, Scotland apparently names its snowplows, or “gritters” as they’re called across the pond. And, true to Scottish form, those names are just delightful. You can even track where they are at any given time

. Take it away, list!

Amber Snowy
Arctic Angel
BFG Big Friendly Gritter
Blizzard Bear
Chilly Connolly
Darth Spreader
David Plowie
For Your Ice Only
Gangsta Granny Gritter
Grit A Bit
Grit Expectations
Gritney Spears
Gritter Bug
Grittest Hits
Grittie McVittie
Grittle Mix
Gritty Gonzales
Gritty Gritty Bang Bang
Han Snow-lo
I Want To Break Freeze
Ice Breaker
Ice Destroyer
Ice Queen
Jeremy Brine
Lew-Ice Capaldi
Licence To Chill
Luke Snowalker
Meltin’ John
Mr Plow
Mrs Gritter
My Name’5 Doddie
Nitty McGritty
Penelope Gritstop
Plougher O’Scotland
Polar Bear Explorer

Polar Patroller
Ready Spready Go
Sandy The Solway Salter
Scotland’s Bravest Gritter
Sir Andy Flurry
Sir Grits A Lot
Sir Salter Scott
Slippy McGritty
Snow Bother
Snow Destroyer
Snow Dozer
Snow Trooper
Snowbegone Kenobi
Snowkemon Go
Sophie Salt
Spready Mercury
The Golden Great Gritter
The Grittiest Snowman
The Incredible Ice Bear
The Snow Buster
The Snow Solution
The Winter Explorer
True Gritter
Yes Sir Ice Can Boogie

As you can see, there are several Star Wars entries and, as the land of Sean Connery, a few James Bond references (plus Gritty Gritty Bang Bang for extra Ian Fleming content). There are also numerous musician references, such as Gritney Spears, David Plowie and Meltin’ John, and The Simpsons

rightly gets a shout out with Mr. Plow.

So, what’s the deal beyond the Scots’ cheeky sense of humor? Well, according to the BBC, Scottish primary school children got a chance to name them back in a 2006 competition. Well done wee ones. 

Personally, I’m a fan of Fred. You need a straight one for the jokes to land. 

Och, laddies, we got a blizzard brewin’. Git

out to the gritters!”

Och, which ones, sir?”

Och, take Snowbegone Kenobi, Nitty McGritty and Fred.”