JOHNSON VALLEY, Calif. – “You’ve got to be kidding,” I say as I stare at the narrow, boulder-strewn gully before me. Actually, “boulder” may be too kind for what are probably better described as “jagged-ass rocks.”
Either way, there is absolutely nothing about it that would make me follow that up by adding, “Yeah, totally, send an automobile up through that.” And yes, “up,” because this will also be an uphill journey we’re apparently about to embark upon in the new 2024 Chevrolet Colorado ZR2 Bison. I’m told by its creators that they took it through far worse in testing, but I have far too much mechanical sympathy to view this as anything but a bad idea.
“There’s not a horse available instead? Seriously, I could just walk up there quicker.”
Clearly, I’m not the demographic for rock crawling, and honestly, this isn’t the arena you immediately think of when it comes to a ZR2. It’s a desert-running truck
The result? You know “Dukes of Hazzard?” Yeah, Bo and Luke would’ve loved to have these things. Or, at least, their stunt drivers would’ve.
Alas, while I got a chance to fully appreciate the ZR2 Bison’s ability to sop up unpleasant desert terrain as if I was merely driving somewhere “paved” in Michigan, I did not get a chance to launch the ZR2 Bison over a gorge. Pity, that seems more fun than slowly smashing its under bits onto jagged hunks of stone.
That said, the Bison is still better equipped for that than the regular ZR2. It was created in partnership with American Expedition Vehicles, or AEV, whose bison logo inspired the truck’s name (Chevy also made a big rig called the Bison back in the ‘70s). They provide the heavy-duty, winch-capable front steel bumper, along with the steel rear bumper and not-steel-but-still-burlier fender flares. The skid plates and huge rocker protectors are GM pieces, but they’re made of boron steel (which just sounds impressive, right?) and I can attest that they work. There was absolutely no chance they could’ve avoided a thwack or two through this gauntlet.
Believe me, I tried. I even asked, “Couldn’t we just move that jagged rock? Seriously, I could just jump out, kick it over, no problem.” The spotters looked at me like I was Scott Evil asking his father if he could just get the gun in his bedroom to take out Austin Powers. “You just don’t get it, do you James?” I imagined them saying, when in fact they just kept giving me hand signals.
And so, with the Bison’s power-locking front and rear differentials engaged along with 4Lo and Terrain mode, I eased onto the throttle and allowed the enormous, segment-exclusive 35-inch mud-terrain tires to do their job. They’re so big, the matching spare won’t fit in its usual home under the bed – it resides on a special mount in